Week 1 Reflection

I honestly really enjoyed reading other peoples blogs about how they maintain passion in their own teachings.  One particular posting written by Hallie really hit home for me. At the conclusion of her post she mentioned about another blog she had read that explained the difference between ‘harmonious passion’ and ‘obsessive passion’.  As much as I wish my teaching fell into the category of ‘harmonious passion’ in a consistent manner, I know that it isn’t true.  In my reply to her I explained that recently in fact, I’ve found myself amidst those that fall into the ‘obsessive passion’ category.  I’m not sure how I got there either.  I began to stress out about all that I was required to do, I stressed out when a lesson didn’t heed the results that I expected it would.  I felt that I was constantly making mistakes, which lead to disruptive behavior within my classroom, and the constant breakdown of most lessons.  My classroom, my students, and my lessons were all I would think about.  I would stay at school until Midnight racking my brain on what I can do better.  I had pages of ‘to-do’ lists that never seem to shrink.  I felt that I would never feel caught up, that my lessons were never good enough and that I had no time for anything else.  This feeling, this obsessive feeling lasted for about a week. 

Thankfully my fiancé finally woke me up out of this weird funk I was in.  He explained to me that I was going to get burnt out at the rate I was going.  I got angry with him, I felt that he couldn’t understand why I had to work so much, why I had to work until everything was just perfect.  Finally on Saturday he convinced me to sit down and watch a movie with him.  I was hesitant, but finally agreed.  And an amazing thing happened.  I relaxed!  I wasn’t thinking about work, I was just thinking about cuddling with him and watching a movie.  This was the wake up call I needed!  As simple as it sounds, just this simple act of stepping back was all I needed to actually relax.  And you know what? When I finally went back to school on Monday I felt refreshed, the behavior in my class improved and my lessons were finally going well.  The passion I once had, the ‘harmonious passion’, had finally returned.  And I’m happy to say that it hasn’t left since!

Although I don’t necessarily think I impacted others too much with my blog posting, I can say that I myself ended up being greatly impacted by what others had to say.  I look forward to continuing Part 2 of Think Like a Pirate later this afternoon, and cannot wait to read what other inspiring things fellow educators have to share next week!